Theres a party in my tummy!

Phew, glad the birthday/xmas rush is over and done with, and all I am left with is a week off work to chill out with, and a Little Turtle who thinks its party time at very inappropriate hours!

Dont really feel terribly grown up yet, but 25 SOUNDS grown up...ish...

On the baby front, everything is ticking along nicely, 16 weeks 2 days today, and little niggles and funny feelings down low that 'could be' Little Turtle moving about, are much more pronounced, and most definitely our progeny making itself known.

Bump pic taken at 16 weeks exactly...




Am starting to look more like a pregnant person, rather than someone who just ate too many toffee pops (and magnums, and cheesecake..hmm.. must re-think dietary intake...and soon...) and in exactly 3 weeks and 4 days, we will be announcing (hopefully, assuming our delightful child who has already shown itself to be QUITE the difficult one already...hmmph) whether we are waiting on a Jayde, or a Lachlan... those are the names we have picked and whittled down so far, but I am always on the lookout for inspiration...

For those trying to be purely evil and laughingly joking maybe theres BOTH.... I can assure you right now that after 3 scans so far, there is most definitely only ONE child growing and partying like its 2008 down in my middle region... someones gunna get sued if a second one pops out to suprise us in 5 months or so!

One more piccy.... This is the xmas pressie courtesy of E who forgot to find time to buy me something, so instead told me to do what I wanted and he would pay for it... so I did what I have been wanting to do for years, and what a difference!

Before....




and now...

Flips and sneaky turns...

Time for my update again...

Been busy little beavers around here, and will continue to be until well after Xmas at this rate. But Thursday night was Scan Night and it was fantastic

We started the scan with baby Turtle facing THIS way... (note for those who cant tell, head is the round bit in the middle, with arms and upper tors to the right of said head)




Then the sonographer turned away to do something on his computer... he came back for another look and hello... little beggar has flipped right round and is now deciding THAT way is better thank you very much (look closely at the head, you can clearly see a little nose and the mouth)



Managed to get a really clear head shot *mutters about little baby's headbutting their mummy's*



aaaaand ladies and gentlemen... THIS is officially why we call this little blighter the Baby Turtle... (think of how you look doing a starfish with a big bungy cord going down between your legs... but the head, which should be to the left, is out of the picture, must have had its head too far forward or backward for the wavelength this pic was taken at)


Gut instinct screams its a boy, although we will have to wait and see if it will oblige in January for the next scan to find out. Little 'darling' would not sit still, kept swimming around and jumping up and down etc... just like Daddy Turtle which the Nana-to-be and I had a wee giggle over, watching him in the car ahead on the way TO the scanning place, his head was always moving around, and never stopped....

Annnywho... baby Turtle is telling me its time for dinner, pity it cant help me out by telling me what it would like for dinner... its going to be a try it and see game tonight...

Fooood...

Yes... another post about food... we all know how I like my food... so why not run with a good topic...or a nice walk at least.

This medication is working wonderfully... the only time we have any hiccups is when someone rather stupidly forgets to take said pills, and spends the rest of the day re-living the week before the Hospital Visit. Needless to say, I very rarely forget my tablets now.

Back to work and trying to take it easy this week, but my neck, back and shoulders seem to disagree with my promise that yes I AM taking things easy... hmmmph.. traitors.

Full steam ahead for the nearly 5 year olds (eek!) birthday party, and the same someone had a brilliant idea and decided to make it a joint party and celebrate her birthday too... yay me...Have one hell of a week set up. Friday 5th (being the big day for Mr 5 going on 13) I am taking annual leave and taking the Boy to the zoo, Saturday we have speedway, Sunday is the big Party, then Monday is my day to stay home and relax... again, I am taking annual leave and doing whatever I feel like doing at the time. Tuesday is the next appointment with the midwife to discuss how Little Turtle is going... oh and THAT Friday is also the work Xmas lunch out at the local beach restaurant... busy busy... roll on Feb when everything goes back to 'normal' and the Kid is at school and maybe then his attitude will slightly decrease once he is no longer the 'big fish in the little pond'... heres hoping anyway

Hospital Food...

Let it be known that the food at a certain South Auckland hosital well and truly lived up to its reputation during my brief stint there on Friday night.

Backing the truck up to the start to catch you all up on the events of the last week.

Seems little turtle here didnt like me eating or drinking. Period. Unfortunately the human body NEEDS such things in order to carry on living. And after a few days of no sustenance... things have to be done. In this case it was 6L of saline via an IV line within 24 hours to put me back on an even keel hydrationally speaking. And the cyclizine injections give you one helluva trip! The kind that I imagine heroin and P addicts pay mega-bucks to get, and one that I will quite happily NEVER go through again! Seriously not a good feeling thinking you are going to fall out of bed while sitting down. And it makes talking rather difficult. And as we all know. I like talking. I like eating too, but the food at that hospital even had ME picking through and eating very little.

I digress.

The point is, we finally won a battle against little Turtle here, and I am back to eating and drinking like a happy little pig-in-the-mud. Albeit with a handful of various medications prescribed by the hospital with strict instructions to keep taking them, regardless of how good I am feeling NOW, as the fact I am feeling good right now only means the drugs are working. And we want them to KEEP working. so I will be taking them until 16 weeks before we attempt to cut back on them.

Oh and even better, I am currently home on Annual Leave for the week to get some rest time while i sort out a new morning routine since the first lot of tabelts have to be taken 1/2 an hour BEFORE eating... time to wave bye-bye to grabbing a muesli bar on my way out the door at 8am in the preschool/work dash

Anyway... a book I have been dying to get my hands on finally arrived in the mail today (google it ;) its called Up The Duff by Kaz Cooke) and I am off for a date with said book in my nice warm bed with music on the TV in the background...bliss...

Bump-in-progress

Not quite the 'House that Jack built'... more like too many toffeepops...urgh... WHY did I just say that... little Turtle here does NOT like anything sweet.... in fact... it doesnt like me eating full-stop... much the same as its big Brother did 5 1/2 years ago... my money is on another male to add to my collection... I am destined to be the sole female on the house. I would count the cat, but she is only included when she feels it is appropriate to be.. so we wont. Not that I would be disappointed, in fact, far from it. I know boys, I can handle (well... kind of) boys. If it came out a girl I would be scared of what the next 20 years were going to bring us.

Anyway... the arrow... yes I know you all can see, and dont need the blindingly obvious pointed out so blatantly... but there is method to my madness. The arrow points to the belly button, the 'bump' is above the arrow... whats below is the result of too many...erm... T words.... and leftover from the sunroof exit the Son made so very dramatically almost 5 years ago... scary thought... he will be 5 years old next month. Can't believe I can say that now.

Theres our baby!

Its a very special feeling knowing that something so tiny (try thinking of a grain of white rice) already has a heart that beats. Nothing can describe the emotion that suddenly hits you as you see that not only are you really, truly having a much wanted baby after all those months of trying, but to actually SEE that tiny little dot and know that it has a life. It IS life. And your life as you know it is going to change, ready or not. That feeling is enough to make a grown man fight a tear as he watches the little tiny dot flicking on the screen and realise that his childs heart, tiny as it is, pumping blood through the tiny little being that is half of him, and half of you.

And honey, if you were finding it hard not to cry then, you just wait for the next one at 12 weeks, by then our little grain of rice will be much bigger, and have hands, fingers, legs, toes... not to mention eyes, ears, mouth and tongue... it will look like a real baby, albeit rather alien-like.

This little Turtle is already feeling the need to dictate anything I eat, as well as when I can eat. Luckily I have 2 foolproof items on the menu... the first which also worked against the Son 5 1/2 years ago, is peanut butter, cheese and gherkin slice sandwiches, the other is plain cooked 2 min noodles, tossed in with a cup of tomato soup made with only 1/3 the required hot water... add italian herbs and little Turtle is in noodle heaven! Unfortunately anything eaten before 5pm that doesnt include the above items in the correct combo is fair game to this little so-and-so...

Much as we love the said so-and-so... food is very important. And not to be given up without a fight. Even if I am fighting food, with more food. I WILL win... when am allowed to.

Cute... can I get one of those please?

I saw this on telly the other day... beyond cute... and like they say... out of the mouths of babes...

I want one just like them!!!

http://nz.youtube.com/watch?v=nqRVqXMyzhM

As for me and baby Turtle here... we are going great guns... chocolate milkshakes and pancakes aside...

how does something the size of a grain of rice make ones tummy suddenly pop out at a wierd angle... ABOVE the belly button??? its NOT the above... cos I havent put on ANY weight... remember... electronic scales dont lie... I swear thats got to be the truth...

anyhow... tis late, and this baby turtle incubator needs sleep... ciao peoples!

Oh.... in keeping with the how many more sleeps idea....

5 sleeps til we get a sneaky peek at our little Turtle again...

Night all

Chocolate Milkshakes...

Who was the ass who used up the last of the choc ice-cream and didnt write it on the shopping list, or god forbid, go and BUY some!... Thus leaving the incubator (who he is supposed to love very much) of his baby turtle choc ice-cream-less when she suddenly decided she quite felt like a chocolate milkshake. Kind of hard to make a CHOCOLATE milkshake, when the only ice-cream in the house is cookies and cream... just not QUITE the same sweetheart.

Get used to this sweety. I hear cravings can be very sudden, and can turn a mother-to-be into quite the demanding menace if she cant have what she really wants to have. Right now. Hint. STOP watching Bathurst and get my chocolate ice cream. NOW!... please....

Its Official folks...

I am well and truly Up The Duff, have a Bun in the Oven, Preggers, Hapu....

You get it right?

As if this wasn't enough of a confirmation...

A scan on Thursday night gave us a peek at what our baby (more affectionately known as Baby Turtle) is doing right now... which apparently at this stage is quite a lot. Its hard work dividing cells into all sorts of places to start forming the embryo and placenta... this ball of cells tumbles down the tubes and crashes into the wall of my uterus... the outer ring then digs and burrows its way in to form the placenta, the rest forms a sac and becomes the embryo. Sounds simple... but its amazing how 2 single celled organisms can combine and mutliply drastically, to become a whole, seperate (although rather parasitic-like for the next 8 months) living entity

And heres a sneak peek, our very first photo if you will, of our little baby 'Turtle'

For those who arent quite sure where they are meant to look... its the little black hole... riiiight in the middle there, prob right down to the smallest millimetre even... next scan in 2 weeks should reveal a little more. Like an actual embryo rather than the sac. And a heartbeat.

Isnt Turtle Jr beautiful...

One for the books...

I know... I know.... slacker ol' me hasnt been on for a while... what can I say? I have been busy losing weight... and doing...other things...as you will find out shortly..





But first...





current stats





100 - 93.5- um.... not sure what I should put on this side now...





well... the good news is I am down to 93.5 kg in what...5 weeks? Impressive.





The even better news? The fertility specialist was oh-sooooo-wrong...!!!





We will no longer need IVF to have our much wanted baby filling up the toffee-pop bump...


aaaaand ladies and gentlemen.... there you have it, assuming you can see it, please excuse the shoddiness of a pxt phone photo. We are now growing our own, naturally made 'apple-seed' Or so the baby book says at this particular week...

Picture this if you will

Thursday morning Ms Bump-Maker/Loser wakes up to a temp that goes up rather high. She knows she isnt coming down with anything, and given that the nasty red thing was due LAST NIGHT.... a high temperature just plain isn't right. So she toddles off to the loo and duly pees into a little sample cup... and decides to waste a test, since they were only cheap net strips anyway. Imagine now the shock on her face when within 2 minutes, never mind the maximum developing time of 5 minutes, there is a, albeit verrrry faint, second line appearing!!!

Not quite believing that her eyes arent just imagining something she never expected to see (don't forget that only about 6 weeks ago we were told we could not conceive without IVF) she takes the test with her to preschool and shows a family friend who, with no help, sees that second line. She then takes it to work, and on her lunch break goes to see yet another friend, who again, sees a second line. So.... by then it was official. She...ok...ok... ME!!! is well and truly... pregnant!!!

So as said earlier... the test came up positive, although rather faint, so the arrangement made was that I would retest on Sunday, given that I should get a much clearer positive... well... I'm not terribly good at this 'patience' lark... never have been, I think I'm a lost cause for that game... I ended up testing the very next morning.... turns out I needn't have waited til Sunday morning as it was already much clearer! A doctors appointment resulted in the usual discussion of folic acid, foods I shouldn't eat, dont smoke (never have anyway) dont drink (guess I had best put my Kahlua and Wipeouts on ice for now, I'm sure I will cope) and who I can have as Lead Maternity Caregiver etc... all the stuff I heard the first time round while pregnant with The Son.

Regulatory blood test (eep at having to face needles again) on Saturday morning to confirm what we already know....

And so now... here I am. 1 year, 2 months and 2 weeks from the day we started officially trying...we finally did it... Officially we are 4 weeks and 2 days pregnant today. Due date of 12th June which is amazing in itself as it is my best friends birthday, AND my late fathers birthday, it is the day before my youngest nephews birthday... and quite likely (block your eyes if you are under 18 riiiiight.... now) concieved on our 3rd anniversary. not that anyone reaaallly needed to know that. But I thought it was nice and added to the specialness of it all. To us this is nothing short of a miracle, that merely 6 weeks after being told IVF was our only way.... we do it all on our own (along with the help of Menevit... and another herbal supplement *keep blocking those eyes kiddies* by the...erm... 'interesting' name of Horny Goat Weed. Seriously. Don't laugh. E had only taken it for about 3 weeks by the time I got the first positive test, so really only 1 week before time of conception.

Ok... you can uncover the eyes now.

So.... now you know why I can't really PUT a goal weight anymore. How does one decide how much they want to put on, or rather NOT put on in the next 7-8 months before the inevitable happens?


Isn't life just so.... suprising sometimes?

Looks like we are back in the bump making business again. Only this time, the bump is already raring to...er... grow? scuse the pun.

Breaking news...

Well, after the first week on these pills, I had lost 2kg! Mind you, that IS going by those shonky scales that tried to tell me I was 5kg more than I really am... so thats probably not the 'true' weight... but it'll do for now. Will have another weight check as soon as I get my hands on a pair of scales...seeing as its now been 2 weeks.

Anywho...

We have news. The Son has a new baby sister, courtesy of his father and stepmother... Arrived at app 4.30 Wednesday afternoon, and the Son is on his way to meet her as I type. He is thrilled to bits to have a new baby sister...I am glad he feels that way as it makes me able to sleep a little better (Lack of sleep from pills aside) knowing that when it finally becomes OUR turn to have a new brother or sister for him, that he will be open to the new addition, rather than rejecting it. That's assuming things dont change too much in his way of thinking in the next 2 years, as thats how long its looking like this could take altogether. We are in for a looong trip here folks.

Thats about all there is to say really.

Toodles.

Energizer Bunny (Or was it Durocell?)

5 kg down already... that was easy...TOO easy lol

Yay for scales that lie and say you are 5kg heavier than you really are!!! Made my day when I got weighed and was informed I am actually 100, NOT 105 like the other scales said. Not that I'm complaining.

The appointment went quite a bit better than the last one. Walk in, sit down, and explain to the nice man why I would like to try out Reductil (You know... I need to get down to 83kg in order to make it onto the IVF waiting list, since we already qualify etcetera, etcetera...)

This is where my great Plan comes a tad unstuck. Turns out that there's 2 more options I wasn't even aware of.

1) Reductil works by blocking the 'hunger' messages between Brain and Stomach, thus making you think you are full

2) Xenical works by lowering your fat absorption... Has a very unpleasant side effect if one is silly enough to EAT fatty food while on it. And while I dont intend on eating said fatty foods... I would rather not be chained to the loo thanks.

3) Duromine works twofold - a) Just like Reductil, it blocks that signal from the stomach telling your brain to eat cos its still empty and (this is where things get interesting) b) it increases your metabolism. Essentially it turns you into something resembling that pink bunny with the drum that just keeps going... and going.. you get the idea.

So I have a choice of 3 drugs... How is a girl meant to choose? It's not like a smorgasbord where you can try a bit of each to see how you like it. This time I can only take one. but which one? Doctor then oh so kindly cemented the decision when he pointed out that Duromine is the cheaper of the three. SOLD!

Whoops... back the truck up there. Theres a few side effects. Of course, aren't there always? It gives you the 'jitters'. Well ok...I can handle that. I need the motivation to get up and move about more anyway right? Trouble sleeping you say? Nah, she'll be right ay. (Gee, which country d'ya reckon I hail from?) It's not like I'm staying on them long term. The idea is that i will only be on them until I reach 83kg. After that I am on my own. I can handle that.

So. $120 later and 2 months worth of pills, along with instructions to come back in a months time for another weigh in, I am back in line with my Plan. Oh goody.

Day 1. No change really.

Day 2. Nope. Still dont feel any different.

Day 3. Woah!!! Someone musta gone and shoved those bunny batteries in here somewhere cos I just cant sit still (Seriously. It's a case of 'Have you got ants in your pants?' here) um... I'm guessing THIS is the so-called 'jitters' I was warned about. Still, I am moving about far more than i usually do, which can only be a good thing... I hope.

Which brings us to today
Day 4

I understand the 'having trouble sleeping' part of the famous side effects now. I got NO sleep at all last night. It went something like this...

Toss
Turn
Kick blanket off, its hot in here
pull said blanket back up, its too cold now
Roll over
Look at the time. 1am? Is that all?!
Toss some more
Turn some more
Give E a filthy look for sleeping so peacefully when i cant sleep a wink
Swear at cat for sleeping hard up against my leg so i cant move it.
Check time again. 3am?!

And so it went on

Finally it was 7am and I could get out of bed.

But why do I not feel even the slightest bit tired?
Puts hand up. Oooh! Oooh! I know!!! That would be those little pills I been taking ay! Thank christ for that as it would so NOT be a good look to be caught sleeping at my work desk. Especially now that my computer has been upgraded with a brand new, fresh out of the box, shiny harddrive. Would be good if I actually HAD any work to do. How many people get paid to sit at their desk and twiddle their thumbs til its time for a break? Some would say lucky you, being paid to do nothing. Yeah... i would rather have some work to do...

Anywhow...

New stats...yipee!

Starting weight - 100kg
Immediate Goal - 83kg
Eventual Goal - 60kg

Toodles, back in 3 days with the (self-imposed) weekly weigh-in!

Why do we love the net again?

Apologies for the lateness, had this all typed up yesterday afternoon, but our net decided to play silly buggars. Nice.

Well. As appointments go, things went...no better than I expected really.

$125 later we now know for a fact that the only way we are ever going to make the Bump we want, is via IVF. Still feeling a bit numb about it all. It's one thing to have it sit in the back of your mind that theres a good chance it will be this way, but for a professional to confirm it out loud? Yeah.

We went in thinking we may have a few options as we knew E's latest test showed that the count had doubled since Mays test, motility still looked normal... but the morphology is where we needed to see the improvement, and unfortunately, no change.

Still. At least this means we qualify for publically funded IVF. With one very big problem.

Me.

So. For the time being, Bump in the Making is temporarily undergoing a bit of renovating, and is not so much about making a baby for my pre-existing, toffeepop induced bump.It will primarily be about LOSING said bump in order to get us on that waiting list for publically funded IVF (unless anyone would like to kindly donate $10K to our Bump-making business. Ah. Thought not) We will still be trying, but we wont be doing the whole fingers, legs, eyes crossed as I near the end of each cycle hoping for a second pink line to show up.

I suppose if we are making this about Losing Bump, one should start by posting the infamous Before shot.Hmmmph. If you say so. Incoming later on this evening when E gets home and take it at a more 'flattering' angle. Thank the lord (and Microsoft) for Paint and its 'crop' function. Who wants to see their face plastered on the net with the 'before weight loss' picture. Not pretty.

Now. I have a Plan. (Unlike Martin Luther King Jr, I prefer Plans to dreams) I like Plans. Right about now, those who have known me for some time will be nodding and laughing. Go on. Admit it guys.
Tomorrow afternoon I have an appointment with the GP to see if he can put me on Reductil to temporarily help speed up the weight loss, then meeting with a friend (You ready MadMum? :P ) over some upcoming weekends for a walk/run around local parks and gardens etc, I will be USING my gym membership for what I am still paying weekly for. I am even going to go out this weekend and buy a skipping rope. *Blinks* Just don't blame E for any black eyes I may or may not be sporting over the coming weeks.

Once I get down to 83kg, i can ring Fertility Associates up and get the ball rolling for IVF. Unfortunately that ball takes approximately 12 months to roll to where we want to be. So essentially, I want to get down to 83kg in as short a time as possible, then spend the following 12 months losing a bit more to get down to a healthier weight, and then maintain that weight

To finish my ramblings I will outline the weight goals

Current weight - 105kg
Immediate goal - 83kg (Being the max weight for my height to get on IVF waiting list
End Goal - 60kg - This is what I was at 18, and lets be honest, i looked much healthier back then!

No more toffeepops.

Excuse me while I go mourn the loss of a girl's best friend

Ladies and Gentlemen...introducing...

As promised, one Spotty Towel.

Aren't men funny?

E's lesson of the Day

Mould remover has bleach. Bleach makes anything coloured turn white. So DONT use the Other Half's nice matching blue towels to clean mould remover off the wall!

I think he learnt the lesson good though. He kindly offered (accompanied by a rather sheepish look) to buy me a new set of towels. That doesnt solve my problem of having a blue towel all on its lonesome. But I'll take new towels anyway please.

And yes. I imagine it IS rather anal of me to HAVE to have all the towels I use kept in pairs. But if I use one to dry me, and one to dry my hair, its nice to have them both look the same. Ok. I'm anal. Get over it already.


Yum. Vodka and OJ. Perfect cure for 'I just got AF' blues ;) Accompnaied by the stereo blasting out all kinds of tunes, makes for a much better feeling than moping about in trackies with a magazine. Must try this one more often.

Postscript: Photo of rather spotty looking towel to follow once someone has charged the camera battery...and E, if you read this before said photo is taken, you better not be hiding that towel!

Ding, Dong the witch is dead...

Ooops... Spoke too soon cos here she comes now.

Guess its time to shake my fist at the sky and tell whoever lives up there to stop playing mean tricks on me. But somehow I just can't seem to muster up the anger...I'm too...deflated right now.

So its back to CD1 tomorrow...Guess that means I can add a glass of wine to the order at dinner tomorrow night...small mercy that, but I'll take what I can get. Heck. Might as well start right now and pour myself a nice cold drink of whatever happens to 'fall' into my hand. Heh. I swear im not an alcoholic. *insert halo here*

Still counting down to the appointment. Will ring on Monday to get the results so we can be prepared for what may be said on Tuesday.

4 more sleeps to go...

Introducing...

So these are the 2 mental cats as mentioned earlier in the blog, the one on the left being She-who-is-kitten-again (A.K.A Spidercat, thus named after the Sons favourite book at the time). The one on the right being the Kitten (A.K.A Locky. Again, for those who don't follow league, he is named after one of E's favourite league players ever. 3 guesses which team he plays for. I'll make it easy. They LOST this weekend!)

Snap taken at one of their albeit rare moments of tranquility. Mr on the left there looks rather angelic. Looks can be decieving don't you know? It is not uncommon to come home from a day at work to find the hurricanes that have been wreaking havoc around the country just happened to have stopped in at our house as well. Aren't we lucky. Unfortunatley E is too soft to be angry at the furballs for too long (regardless of how much our bathroom stinks once Mr has been in and done his thing. Typical male) and I am...well...lazy is a word that springs to mind.

Speaking of lazy, this blogger has been rather busy today, so a little sleep is exactly what I need. Night all

The Final Countdown

Yes people. I still have THAT song stuck in my head.

3 more sleeps til I can say something to whoeever in the sky (heh. Sounds like Xmas is coming)
7 more sleeps til our appt with Dr Graham.

Still nervous.

Had to laugh today though. The american swimmer taking the Olympics by storm (Phelps) could teach E's swimmers a thing or two about hitting target pretty darned fast. Imagine a group of office workers with all the jaws hanging on the floor as this guy goes from half a length behind the current winner at the start of the last lap, only to win by almost a full length. Amazing stuff.

Warriors 16 - 12 Broncos

heh...hehehe...

Our boys rode those horseys outta town! For those that dont follow....Warriors beat the broncos...at the game E was at..and E, being the avid Bronco's fan that he is, is very Unimpressed. Me? I am thrilled to bits.

Isn't life grand.

Still counting down. Getting nervous now.

3 days til I do something to the sky
7 days til the dreaded appt

It occured to me today that while I know there is a good chance IVF may be our only option if E's results dont improve, the Heart refuses to accept it just yet. It's almost like the Head and Heart have decided they are not on speaking terms until someone 'professional' says the words to make that connection happen again. I seem to have become quite the expert in keeping the twain from ever meeting. How else would I cope when other people announce they are 'expecting' and I'm still back here at the starting line. Not that getting pregnant is a race. Of course not. But still...there are friends who are now racing off through their pregnancies, and friends who have gone beyond the finishing line with their fast growing babies. And here we are. So while the Head knows We are all very likely to be told IVF is all We have left, the Heart is not yet willing to listen. Which for now is probably a good thing. Now would not be the best time to turn into a blubbering snot-nosed mess. After all, life goes on around us. I still have the Son to worry about. I still have to get up and go to work as per normal every weekday, regardless of whether I FEEL normal or not. (Bearing that in mind, I have chosen not to go to work on the day of the appt. I have this 'feeling' that the Heart is not going to cope pretending everything is normal, with whats at stake here)

As I sit here typing, I am also shaking my head at our mental cat. When someone has a cat who has just reached adulthood, it is probably not such a good idea to go and get a kitten, thus making the older cat relive HER kittenhood. She was a scatty kitten, now she is just a scatty cat. And a rather heavy one to boot. Much as it would disgust her to know, she looks downright comical. Especially when there is a plastic bag available for the playing. Said kitten was a replacement for her brother who had been bowled over by a car app 2 weeks earlier. Maybe the cats should make a mental note there. Playing chicken with those massive metal things zooming past is DEFINITELY not a good idea. No probably's about it.

Rated: R16 - Contains Offensive Language and Sex Scenes

Wow and didnt it just!

Heh.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall is a fantastically funny movie and I recommend it to anyone who is in need of a few laughs, and knows what its like to be broken up with.

And when he drops the towel...hello!!!!

So E decideds to do the nice thing and take me to the movies seeing as he gets to go out to the league tonight...Go Warriors...(Love you darling :P ).

Mental Note. If you want to make a pit stop at the supermarket to get some nibbles and avoid paying outrageous prices AT the cinema's for theirs...DON'T leave the house with only 25-30 minutes to drive there, find a park, get upstairs and buy the tickets. Oops. Oh well. Toffeepop bump here could probably do without the lollies and drinks anyway.

So. Still in countdown mode here. Song by Europe bursts into head.

6 days until I start the skyward berating or cheering.
10 days until our appt with Freddy Graham.

And now its time to go and do housewifely stuff. Washing machine has finished it's impersonation of an aircraft in mid takeoff and is informing me I can get rid of the clothes it just finished washing for me.

Toodles.

How much?

So I rush to FA (*snorts* At 4.30pm in Auckland traffic, its anything BUT a rush, but you get what I mean) to pick up the pottle and forms for E's upcoming Sperm Analysis, and decide to be a smart cookie, pay for the test from last time (oops heh) AND tack on half the cost of the upcoming appointment...hmmm...$125 you say? Awesome, maybe I can pay for it all now...wait... how much is THIS test going to cost again?...$65!!?? but this old one was only $35...well... Houston... we have a flaw in my brilliant plan... so out of the $100 I quietly handed over... none of it even touches the upcoming appt... bother... guess I will just have to pay that one on the day cos I sure dont have all that money on me right now!

Where's that money tree when ya need it huh?

Apparently we should buy a lotto ticket.. been a week of highs over our neck of the woods...

Monday starts the week with a mediation hearing with the Sons father, and that side of the family...short, sweet, and rather to the point...No, I dont need to do MORE psychotherapy (a.k.a 'play therapy') OR conselling... we are doing just fine....here you go...you now have full custody of the Son...

WOOT! Its ONLY taken *counts on the calendar* 3 1/2 years! What a waste of years that was... Still its all over now, no need to reflect on what I 'could have' done in that time... epsecially as now things are precisely where I WANTED them to be when the proverbial hit the fan...

Tuesday... we have a car! ('Someone' here wasnt paying attention and did a beauty of a N2T in the school hols, and concequently wrote the car off...ooops...) said new car is much nicer than the old one anyway... cost exactly the amount we got from insurance (bonus!) AND is actually worth more than twice that... so has been insured for exactly that...plus excess...all pefectly legit. Apparently.

Wednesday. I get to start driving the new car, and its allll mine. (Gee...I think we just found where the Son gets his possessiveness from...*insert angel halo here*)

Thursday. *scratches head*. Dont think anything that flash happened here after the car...lol. Still buzzing from the car.

So...waiting for the third piece of good news. 'Things' come in 3's dont you know?

So I was told to buy a lotto ticket... But if we are really in line for some more good news... I dont want to waste it on that ticket... I am hoping this time next week we get that good news on a stick I will probably pee on. Assuming something else hasn't shown up by then.

This is where I am going to get technical. If you dont understand numbers and abbreviations... Dont keep reading. I am sure you will though. Dont say I didn't warn you.

So...last few months have gone rather...odd. To say the least. I had a normal (for me at any rate) 23 day cycle. Which was then followed by a 32 day cycle, including a CD19 ov day...19?! I nearly ALWAYS ov on CD12... who knows which bag THAT cycle popped out... but I digress. So the next one was even MORE of a shock, as I ov'd on CD9...nope, not a typo...CD9. and like clockwork AF showed up 12 days later, leaving me with a 21 day cycle... Sometimes I jsut love my body that listens to me about as well as the Son does on a weekday morning when I tell him to get up. Opps, digresssing again (I do that a lot). so... THIS cycle has yet again been a nuisance. ov happened on CD10, slowly getting back to my 'normal' but still early enough to make the eyes roll to the sky and berate whoever happenes to listen up there...and so now I am 6DPO, and exactly a week from now... I will quite likely be cursing and doing some more skyward berating and feeling horribly disgusting. I hate AF's. They are a mess, never mind the reminder about failing yet again...rah rah rah...

Would MUCH rather be able to yell to him (her? them?) in glee and excitement and tell whoever that thank you for the wait I had to go through, but its about blardy time dontcha think?!.

Thats not likely to happen to be pefectly honest... but remember...Luck is on our side... I havent wasted that special 3rd thing yet...

Meanwhile, another day has almost ticked over...11 days until our meeting with Dr Graham...

*footnote - Did anyone watch Sperm Wars on Inside NZ the other week... thats who we see! I have put my order for just one baby in the bump we are trying to make thank you very much.

About...Bump in the Making, and the people who star in it

So its been a while trying to get this show on the road... granted, technically I already HAVE a 'bump' but not the kind I would like... mine is a result of a nearly 5 year old who came out the sunroof...and a few too many toffeepops...(Hey, a girl has to have her vices right? And between me and the Big Guy...Toffeepops are the least of my worries there)

The kind of bump I am after is a baby that E and I get to have TOGETHER... my Son is a result of a marriage that was over long before it even happened... and while E is fantastic with him... it's not really the same as being a Dad...besides, Sperm Donor is still in the picture (his parents would have a fit if he wasnt) and its not fair on the son to have 2 'Dads' so E is known by his full name in this house...

Little bit about us, I'm 24, the Son is 4 1/2 years old (the half is VERY important when you are waiting to start school!) and the Man is 32, old man material if you listen to how he tells it. We have been together since September 17th '05 and have been talking babies (i.e Man says I would like kids one day soon, and girl stares at him and gets ready to run. Fast. Oops too late. The clock has started ticking) since very soon after that date... I guess when you know its right... you just know... right? heh

TTC journey itself so far has been rather long, and have come across a couple of bumps... I stayed on the Depo until things were sorted out (E's business going belly-up, custody issues with the Ex and his family over the Son, and money being a tad tight) We decided to flag the Depo and go onto the pill in Jan '07 when I went back to work (the idea being that we would wait until i would be eligible for Paid Parental Leave) so as not to delay our chances of getting it right... Apparently it can take up to 12 months for Depo to wear off... (this coming from the girl who concieved the Son app 6 weeks after missing her injection!) and how many stories do you hear of people who get Up The Duff (hereby known as UTD) as soon as they stopped the pill, or even just missing one or two...

That plan had a major flaw in it, as we will come across soon...

Anywho, to continue on this TTC road...the job I started in Feb '07 had one rather large problem... it was a contract renewed every 3 months, which left me with no PPL, let alone sick leave (which anyone with kids will agree is a necessity)and no guarantees of even BEING renewed... was a horrible job anyway, so decision was made to find a new one...started that job April '07...and then 3 months later was informed my job would possibly be made permanent (at that stage I was only a temp, but it was closer to home, and less hours which suited me better than what I had been doing) so thought wahey!!! lets do this! So July 17th I officially became a TTCer...

Few weeks later still no sign of my period (a.k.a Aunty Flo - AF) so toddle off to doctor to see if maybe it worked as soon as we had hoped... HPT came back with just the one line...sigh... so off for a full blood count...including HCG. Of course. well... get a phone call couple of days later saying GP wanted to see me...Interesting. So toddle on back, only to find I am not preg, well not YET. But wait! Theres more... oh yes, not only do you NOT get to be pregnant just yet... the testosterone levels are elevated...wahhhh?! Does that mean I am turning into a man?! guess I better change the wardrobe a bit huh...

Seriously though. Elevated testosterone, combined with no AF, AND a family history of Diabetes apparntly points all fingers towards a lovely little thing called Poly-Cystic Ovaries... Oh joy... the cure? Heres some metformin and go lose some weight... Just what every girl loves to hear...

So with that in mind I signed up to join the gym...only to find a few days later that yes indeedy, theres a second (albeit extreeeemely faint) line on THIS test... Ladies and gentlemen! We HAVE a winner....

Um.... not quite...August 15th marks the date i started to miscarry... this was followed by an 18 day cycle... (seriously, 18 days?! How is a girl supposed to be prepared for THAT one? And yes peoples, I was a Girl Guide growing up, and am leader now, so the BP thing is big part of my life) and from there we started again... this time I armed myself with these handy little things called ovulation tests...and bugger me, but Day 11 of this cycle, we get a +ve.. so its BD time baby! (BD is also known as Baby Dancing, horizontal jiggyjig - E's fave, Business Time...and the list goes on. But you get the picture. I hope) 2 weeks later its another +ve on an HPT.... crossing legs, fingers... probably even my eyes if I knew how... wiling this little dot to stick like dried weetbix to a plate...Legs and fingers got rather distracted when, in Mid-October, E's mother was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer. Extremely big shock as E and both of his older brothers idolise her... she has 3 grown boys wrapped around her little finger (note to self, learn THAT wee gem for later ;) ) and I imagine the shock from that set something off... for that same week, we lost yet another wee dot. That was October 23rd. Funny how certain dates just stick to your mind, no matter how much you would love to forget them.

The news wasn't ALL bad. After an operation to dig it all out... and several months of chemo... she has tentatively been given the all-clear... Hooray for modern medicine!

Not so good news for us back at Bump in the Making. After dot#2 making his/her grand exit, we had yet to get even a spark...let alone a real live, kicks and all baby... so in Feb we decided to go back and see what could have gone wrong. Some good news, my testosterone levels have gone back to normal (This most likely being due to the 9kg's being lost in the 3 months leading up to Xmas, that had rather stalled for the time being), and since there appeared to be nothing wrong with me (other than being overweight, but that didnt stop my concieving the Son...But I digress) we then turned to E... and boy did we get a shock... the figures below outline 'normal' range for count (how many of the wee fullas there are), Motility (how fast the tadpoles swim, and if they go in a straight enough line) and morphology (whether they have 2 heads, no tails or a bit bent out of shape, or are perfectly healthy... we want perfectly healthy...)

Normal Count - 20 million/ml minimum
Normal Morphology - 30% minimum
Normal Motility 50% minimum

Actual count 15 million/ml
Actual Morphology - 14%
Actual Motility - 50%

The verdict? In laymans terms, theres slightly below normal numbers, and half normal that are healthy enough to do anything valuable... but at least they all swim the right way!!!

Where to from here? well, GP very kindly did a referral for fertility treatment now that we have a reason for why nothings happening anymore, and so we sit and wait... but keep on trying...

6 weeks later the letter came in to tell us that we have been declined through the puiblic health system...April Fools day even... well... guess the joke was on us...the reason? Again, in laymans terms... I'm still too fat... now is about the time I curse the 'short' genes my parents so lovingly handed over... a few more cm's would have put my BMI within their accepted range...dont you just love your family at times like these :P

It was about that time I attended a public seminar at Fertility Associates in Auckland... and learnt what kind of things Modern Medicine have come up with that can help us. And also learnt how much it would cost if we were to flag the public funding... I'm sure the whole of NZ heard the swearing going on inside my head right then...

we decided to bite the bullet and go privately until we get to a point where we just cant find the money and try and kick-start the process a bit. $200 later we get told I could lose some more weight (hmm.... deja vu anyone?) and E has a problem needing attention...Gee Mr... I think we already knew that one...Apparntly we didnt know just HOW much he needed that attention... remember the figures up there^^? How's about I bring them back down here, and add the April results to them, so you can all get a better idea of where we then stood in the Bump Making Business

Normal Count - 20 million/ml minimum
Normal Morphology - 30% minimum
Normal Motility 50% minimum

February
Actual count 15 million/ml
Actual Morphology - 14%
Actual Motility - 50%

April
Actual Count 8.4 million/ml
Actual Morphology - <5%
Actual Motility - 50%

So... the count has halved even lower, the morphology is so low it doesnt even register... BUT THEY ALL STILL MOVE JUST FINE!

fun times...

Now apprntly there is a supplement for men aptly and originally called Menevit, full of loads of vitamins and minerals that help swimmers grow big and strong...so another $100 for a 3 month script for that, and we get told to come back when those are finished...

So... here we are 3 months later... and guess what...

Bump is still, sadly, just too many toffeepops...

Life of a housewench is never over... this house needs our food restocked...must dash